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I will never forget you telling me that you were so happy that I taught you how to grow- how be a fulfilled person. I'll never forget wanting to believe that all we needed to survive was each other. Then out of the blue I found you involved with someone else- and you denied it. Words cannot say what I felt. I didn't think that it would ever happen. Not you- not to me. Me being the fucking idiot that I am, suggested that we evaluate where we were- that maybe after xxx years things were getting stagnant ( though I never once felt that.) If you wanted to find excitement with someone else- go for it, I said. But you denied it all- that nothing was happening. You promised that you'd come to me if you felt that way again. And I fucking believed you. Then it happened. I remember the night you fucked him and, strangely enough, being able to sleep despite you holding me when you got home. Fuck you. That was the moment I turned numb; the moment you effectually killed me. You told me three days later as if I didn't have a clue. God damn it- my heart, my world, and everything I worked so hard for just diminished. I am so happy you couldn't cum, I am so damn happy it wasn't worth it. I am so pissed, however, that not even a week before I gave you xxx Os in xxx night- but you still wanted more didn't you? WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU ASK ME. It has been xxx months and I still don't have an answer to the simple question of 'Why?'. 'Because I'm stupid' doesn't cut it. You fucking took my trust and can't even muster the decency to give me a real answer. I hate to equate anything other than rape to rape- but I feel like you violated me on the most basal level of a human being. xxx months later and I still cry when I am al xxx xxx months later and I can't even think about anything else. But it wasn't because you had sex with someone else- I don't give a flying fuck about that, and you know it; if you wanted to have sex with someone else right now, I'd let you. The sex wasn't the issue- it was how you treated me after. Yeah, that whole three months of bullshit we went through after. You were so eager to fix things. So happy that I didn't just leave right then and there. So willing to tell me how that was the biggest mistake of your life. We worked on shit, and I tried so hard. I repressed everything negative because I knew that if we could get through this, we could go back to those days that would never end in anything but bliss. I never wanted anything so bad as I wanted to just turn back time a few months and avoid it all. But something interesting came up. Nonmonogamy; a chance to explore ourselves in the context of a relationship but with new, added elements. A chance to explore our sexuality and turn this wonderful energy inwards to satisfy each other fully. I was on board, after all, you made me lose any faith I had in a monogamous relationship. It was consenting, it was refreshing, it was potentially beautiful- right on up until I actually met someone over a cheap dinner. Nothing sexual, just crappy food and conversation. Then you went ape shit. You latched on to this and went utterly nuts. Hey, it is understandable- it sucks when your partner sees someone else. It truly hurts- and I didn't want to hurt you. This wasn't about *you*, this was for me. You got to take a leap out of the circle of our monogamy; I wanted to at least see what was on the other side. But you denied me. You controlled me. You became bitter, andgoodlooking white guy for black female lets play vicious, swinger resort palm springs and jealous, and controlling and you denied me the very thing you did without my consent. You said that me talking to other people was the emotional equivalent of you fucking someone else. You manipulated me and made me feel like shit for taking the opportunity to express my sexuality. I didn't even *want* anyone else but I took the opportunity so that maybe we could learn and grow. This was you at your worst. You denied me what you did freely- and *that* is the reason I have to say 'fuck you'. It wasn't enough that betrayed my trust, or that you lied; you had to bestow me with guilt for even taking a step in the direction of the path you took. God, I hurt, but I needed this catharsis. You'll come home in a few hours, and I'll have dinner waiting, as usual. I'll look at you, and remember the girl that loved me. I'm trying so hard to move forward, Adult singles dating in Perth amboy, New Jersey (NJ). find woman Wolf Summit West Virginia really- I've just never been so chaotiy lost. sexo casual Bribie Island Rutland Vermont adult wives foods meat counter Hello hola que grannies wanting sex?
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